I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
