I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize