WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
