Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize