I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize