I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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