he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
