I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
