So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
