If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
