my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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