a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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