Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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