Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the day after is always just damage control
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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