I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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