You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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