I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
time to smoke my breakfast
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Randomize
