every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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