Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
