You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
