Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize