It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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