Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
