I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize