I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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