I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
