dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Bring me that man meat
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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