i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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