my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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