I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
