wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
