K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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