Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
