Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
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Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
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My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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