DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
