And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
