I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
