he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
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