if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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