dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize