He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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