if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
