I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
