Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
