HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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