At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize