So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
