its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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