i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
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Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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