Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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