Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just want to make out with him forever
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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