did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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