ADVERTISEMENT

• (646): View more from New York

  A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"

  Fav 10 2317 1156

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings

  Fav 40 1173 7670

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (210): View more from Texas

  Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously

  Fav 21 2615 4574

  share tweet
  

• (619): View more from California

  she peed on how many people?

  Fav 23 2285 6278

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.

  Fav 10 1795 3629

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over

  Fav 2 2640 895

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?

  Fav 16 897 3503

  share tweet
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?

  Fav 4 672 1012

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party

  Fav 1 277 189

  share tweet
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.

  Fav 0 56 9

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  ..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.

  Fav 0 64 4

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want

  Fav 0 47 7

  share tweet
  

• (719): View more from Colorado

  Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out

  Fav 0 34 9

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining

  Fav 0 34 43

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  But we have bathrooms and they dont

  Fav 0 24 10

  share tweet
  

Randomize