Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he was CRYING into my vagina
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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