my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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