I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
