Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We named our party play list daddy issues
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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