Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
