Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This baby is an asshole
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
