Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
