Whod you bang
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Soap is not a condiment
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
worst night to have a conscience
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Randomize
