I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
