3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
