Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
