I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
